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| Me with My Short Grey/Pewter Hair Stella&Dot Earings |
Well I'm pretty sure this is not going to be a very fashionable or even comfortable post but I'm gonna write it anyway. A few months ago I found out I have Basal Cell Carcinoma on my head and on my shoulder. Worst thing I did was google images, barf. Basal Cell is a slow growing skin cancer and from what I'm told if you're gonna get cancer this is the one you want. Yikes, weird thing to say but..."Thank You". Never the less I was still pretty freaked out by it. The main reason, it was on my head and the Dr. said "Hopefully we have caught it in time and it hasn't fused to your skull because then the cancer could travel down your hair follicles and into your system." Well my goodness that scared the pants off of me and my family. Then I had to wait with that tidbit of news for three months till my Cancer Clinic Appointment....torture. Once I had my appointment in March, there was some relief, the Dr.'s were confident it was found in time and it can be removed by surgery, a procedure if you will. Awesome. Here is some of what the Dr.s said to me, "You are really young to have this type of Cancer, it is usually bald old men, you don't appear to be a sun worshippers and you have really thick hair." Hmmmmm. I guess you'll have to change your 'Usual Suspects' list.
I looked for things I should be doing to protect myself until my surgery (August 22) and really came up empty handed. There was no list of products or food to avoid. No articles on how the area would feel after being biopsied. I couldn't find anything on how I would feel generally, you know, state of mind.
So I took it upon myself to stop dying my hair, use natural hair care products,wear at hat and keep covered at the beach, eat well, think positively, keep company with good friends and family. And Wait.
I'll back up a little and tell you how I found it. I had a little growth growing on the top of my head. I assumed it was a little mole (or wort) that I would get removed when I had time to make an appointment. But over time, I would notice it feel a little scabby and a little piece would peel off, bleed (a pin drop of blood) a little then get a tiny bit bigger. I could never see it therefore out of sight out of mind, and cancer still not on the radar, just a gross wort. Until one day last November I thought "Wow, that wort on my head has gotten big, I should get that wort removed." My Dr. sent my to a Dermatologist were he informed me it was Basal Cell Carcinoma and he biopsied most of it then.
When they biopsy it they use a little spoon like instrument with a knife edge. They freeze the area. But you can hear it. I turned a paler shade of white. It doesn't hurt it just feels awful. You do not want to drive after so make sure you have a loved one with you to drive and give you sympathy. (Thank you Mama) So after that I had a "divot" in my head and the area looked like a fried egg. It was gross, I couldn't even put the cream on it myself because it made me feel like I wanted to vomit if I went near it. I had a sweet former nurse friend who would apply it for me till I was comfortable to do it. (Thank You Jen)
The area that was biopsied hurts or aches sometimes, kind of feels like if you were to scrape a comb over a fresh cut over and over again, then other times he feels like it has a pulse then other times he feels like a headache is resonating from it. I just always know it is there.
So once August 1st hit, I started thinking about the procedure more. I'm feeling a little anxious about it, nervous, but thankful too that it is almost here and therefore almost over.
A lot of people have or get Basal Cell Carcinoma I am most definitely not the first or the last. Some I suppose think it is not a big deal and some (like me) who are freaked by it and need to talk about it to help deal with it. A couple of famous Basel Cell celebrities Elizabeth Taylor and Ewan McGregor.
On the Grand Scale of Life I am so very lucky and healthy,happy and oh so thankful. This past Spring I lost my Dear Auntie to Cancer, it was the worst kind of suffery I have ever witnessed and I am relieved she is no longer in such pain. I think of her everyday and miss her. I still expect to run into her.
For the record: Cancer Sucks.
All wishes of Light and Love are accepted here.
\Have a Wonderful Long Weekend and don't forget to cover-up!
Love
Marcia
p.s. It is a great idea to check your partners, kids all over, every month. If you need an example on how to do this check the Discovery Channel under Gorillas.
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