Sadness

On Friday morning I logged into my facebook account. As I was reading my "news feed" I noticed an old classmate/friends (from Ottawa) status he had posted about 10 minutes earlier. It appeared to be a suicide note. I quickly sent him an email. I was hopeful. I kept checking his page...his friends and family were pleading for him to call them, words of love and friendship, the feelings were intense, but panic was in there words. Those that lived close would have been searching for him, so afraid of what they may find...I got word the next morning...they found him. Dead. He has 3 little kids, he posted "Butterfly Kisses" for his daughter and "Father and Son" (Cat Stevens) for his 2 sons, and "Tears in Heaven" as well. I have been over come with sadness for him, his children, his wife and his family and close friends. I have had a lump in my throat all weekend and have shed many tears. I have not seen him since college age, but it still feels a little raw. Being an adult is tougher than we think it is going to be as teenagers. We were all in such a hurry to be adults. The pressure and responsibilities can be a little overwhelming at times. Challenges that come up during a marriage really test the ol' wedding vows. Some make it and some don't but we can all learn from absolutely every event that happens to us. And we can all learn from other peoples lessons too. I wish he would have paused at his computer for a few more minutes, and he would have seen he is not alone. His friends and family were there to prop him up and give him the support and love he needed during his darkest times. This man seamed to have it all, smart, beautiful children, family and friends galore, just days before he even posted pictures of all his family at the cottage. I believe he and his wife were separating at this time. Here is the life lesson for us all...we are all fragile at times, when a friend or family member is going through major life changing events, such as divorce, death of a child, spouse, friend, family, illness, be extra aware of comments, body language, odd behaviour. Love them, talk to them, check in with them. Get them help if needed. The dark hole of depression is deep, you may have to reach. But, it may be the "First day of the rest of their life".

Signing off with a heavy heart tonight,
Marcia