Letting Go - Flying High

I am in a constant state of wonder and curious about everything.  My brain hurts.  My eyeballs ache from looking up…to the side…and the other…down.  Trying to figure out perhaps even accept…yes accept would be the miracle…as to how my mission to motherhood and to myself turned so wonky, stressful…not fun…sad even.

My oldest child is in his final year of childhood.  Twelve.  I have been a mother for twelve years. I have been a mother in mild to medium to full blast crisis mode from the time my son was three.  

From the moment he was born he was pure perfection, a bonnie baby in every sense of the world, fed well, fattened up in all the right places, hearty laugh, slept great, loved his snuggles, his people and especially his folks.  We felt the truest of loves, wild, reckless and no end.  And all this loveliness repeated two years later when the most beautiful of souls came earth side to be part of our family, our daughter was born.  My dreams came true.  We were blessed.  We felt it.  We knew it.  Smug parenting settled in…we rocked the early years.  I declared myself a ‘baby person’, and loved guiding my husband through this uncharted territory.  I loved watching my husband become a natural at parenting, a natural at supporting me and cheering me on.  

There is no way ever I could have imagined how our lives would be so transformed.

Lets go back a little.  Say my late teen to all of my twenties.  On some level I was always day dreaming about having a baby, what my children would look and be like.  I wondered what their  interests would be.  I couldn't wait to ‘dress them’ and decorate their rooms and make beautiful meals for them and read them all the books I love.  For over 10 years I had invented the worlds most well rounded, smart, beautiful, fashion forward, creative, kind, loved by all, delightfully friendly children.  They would be mine al mine mwahahaha.

Lesson.  Children are not possessions.  Period.  They are not ours to project our needs and wants on to.  They are beautiful free souls gifted to us to guide them on their earth side journey.  The sooner you realize this the more free your soul becomes.  No joke.  Please realize this sooner than later. Trust me you want to. It’s finally happening to me.  Each person that has been ‘called’ to mother or father a child is given the most unique and treasured opportunity to free a soul.  We are all gifted children to learn lessons about ourselves, our beliefs, to challenge us, to help our souls, to figure out our purpose, to love like no other and to be loved like no other and in our case…to be the safe place for our children to fall…period…without judgement, hate or ridicule.  Our hearts remain wide open and our arms outstretched to draw them back…always.

We were gifted a child, who is so sensitive, angry, feels he needs to prove him self and be this bravado tough guy, who can dish it but not always take it, sometimes feels life would be better without him in it, thinks everyone is against him, has learning disabilities on top of ADHD.  Hate the label but it is what it is.  A child who seems to have grown at warp speed, and who is wise beyond his years but innocent to the core.  A child who stands out in a crowd with his tall, slim, muscular body, handsome face and his two different colour eyes.  He just stands out.  He seems to be at war with himself at all times then it translates to a war between him and I. 

Him and I.  

I made space in my body, 

heart, 

mind 

and soul 

for him.  

His heart beat inside me.  ME. 

His body passed through mine. Mine.  

My body fed his body.  My.  

I did that. 

I honestly do not know any other life changing, soul exploding force to take place.   

I know his true self better than anyone.  

The real boy is.  Hilarious, self assured, creative, forward thinking, passionate, loving….so loving….physically gifted, thoughtful, helpful, curious, compassionate and kind.  So kind. (these are the labels I can get behind) I am hopeful he will know this to be true.  Otherwise I do not know how my husband and I have gotten through the last 10 years and more recently the last 4 months. 

Here is the tough part.  Wanting to share, write, reflect, support and de-stigmatize tough times in parenting/mental health issues and needing to protect and honour all who are involved.  (even though I have talked with my family about sharing and getting the okay from all) It still feels so very raw and so very exposed.  

But in my core, 

my hearts desire, 

I wish to envelope parents and loved ones who are going through;

soul shattering times, 

lonely times,

feelings of failure,

and defeat,

sorrow,

anger,

utter rejection,

embarrassment,

exhaustion,

grieving for your shattered expectations

and pure heart break.

I want to give hope.

The soul shattering turned to radiant souls emerging.

Lonely times turned to peace,

Feelings of failure turned to beautiful realizations,

Defeat turned to celebrations of mini triumphs

Sorrow turned to hope,

Anger turned to patience,

Utter rejection turned to an expression

Embarrassment turned to not giving a fuck what others thought,

Expectations turned to THE GIFT of Letting Go

and heart break turned to my hearts full, my hearts work, a new heart. 

My parenting journey will never be perfect.  Nor will yours….sorry…it won’t. Mine shifted when I finally shifted and started to do my life work of “being Me”…its an ongoing project of learning about myself, letting me be me, ‘owning my own shit’ (copywrite Kayli - Art Therapist), learning lesson after lesson until it sinks in.  

Honestly, the biggest and most juiciest of lessons is really, really, really simple yet often very hard to do….ready for it?  Allowing your children to be who they are.  And, while your at it...afford yourself that same luxury too. There is no earth shattering philosophy it truly is that simple.  

Vive La New Years Resolutions...just kidding...I think you should delay them

Every January I start a new Journal.  I ferociously write my grand plans for the year, I write down every morsel I've eaten or drank for the day, how I feel, poems, observations, gratitude's.
And then I stop around the end of February.
Just like that,  done.
I have so many journals, with January to February entries.  Part of the Grand Plans, resolutions if you will, usually include cutting out Alcohol, gluten, dairy and coffee, watch less t.v., exercise more.  Always stems from the gluttonous November/December endless holiday celebrations and dinners, all the baking, rich meals, accompanied by glasses of wine and beer, and evening Bailey's or Harvey's Bristol Cream.

So really, half way between Christmas and New Years, I pretty much feel like a stuffed non-organic Turkey ready to hit the utility conveyor belt.  So making these New Years Resolutions just seems to make sense at that time.

This year started out very similar...resolutions set..... until about the 300th snow day in our Lake Effect Squall/Blizzard Vortex of Never Leaving this Town in Winter, Town.  I truly feel that I will never make a "New Years Resolution" again in January...again.
I needed a glass of wine or three on those long snow days, I needed a hot bowl of homemade cream of something soup and a crusty bun for dinner, every now and then, to warm my heart and belly, when the winds and snow just will not let up.
I needed t.v. during these months to numb my mind after obsessively checking the Weather Network Station, reading, researching, work, and all the things a Woman does.
Now the exercise more, is never a bad one, I am a big believer in daily exercise...just not always a great practitioner of such grandiose daily needs.  I usually 'up' my yoga practice, count sledding with the kids, walking the dog as my main movement breaks.  But sometimes a cuddle under the blanket, cup of tea and book seemed more important (to me) this time of year.

What I propose is from January to April first is your New Year "Prep" time.  Time to reflect, time to slowly detox from the mess of end of year shenanigans, time to regroup your thoughts and priorities, these are your winter months to take stock of your life and slowly implement, small, manageable positive changes.  Changes that won't overwhelm, changes that start feeling "right" and "easy".

Then April 1st, once the weather has broke and hopefully no more snow (but you never know) start kicking your plans into high gear.  Spring.  Everything is new and fresh, growing, stretching.  This is the time to implement all the amazing little things you 'prepped' for.  Time to shine. It just makes more sense in this time of year, and to be honest this phase of my life (what I like to call Early Mid Century).  April 1st is only 2 weeks away, I feel good(ish), I cut back on coffee, I've been juicing, yoga, writing more, t.v. a little less, cut back on gluten and dairy, drinking more herbal tea.

The next phase will come in September and this time will be a Winter Goal Setting Phase, I need to plan on how we will get through winter with a little more fun and a lot less S.A.D., I need to learn (and teach the kids) how to like, embrace, maybe even ...love winter for the rest of our lives.  (I'll let you know how that one goes) For real though, I think this is the ultimate Canadian Life Skill, and I have not mastered it.

So maybe this is my giant excuse post about all my New Years Resolution short comings or maybe, just maybe, its just, I have finally evolved and this is the year I've stopped putting so much pressure on myself to be this high performing superwoman, which I've never reached and never will and plus I don't even want to be that person anyway.  Whatever the reason, it's a new season and I'm feeling grateful and positive about life.  AND,  I'm really, really, really, looking forward to getting my hands in the dirt and start gardening (which equals exercising, right?), long sunshiny days and nights, sitting on the porch, riding bikes, and in this town our most ultimate prized possession, days at the beach on our beautiful Lake Huron.

There is a lake under all that snow.

Peace, Love and Light Always,

Marcia

The trouble with procrastination.

The trouble with procrastination.
It has come to my attention I am a champion PROCRASTINATOR.  I remember first being labeled as this in high school Junior High, by a teacher, my parents and self diagnosed from articles I read in SASSY, Seventeen and Cosmo, and I have been singing its praises ever since.  I never gave it another thought that I never was not a procrastinator.  Being a procrastinator has been my sparkly crutch for so long that I really know, no other way of life.  It is what it is and what it shall be.  

Paying bills...last minute or later (Sorry Procrastinator)
Last minute reserving for...anything, hotel, plane, restaurant...just squeak by the hair on my chinny chin chin (Sorry I'm a professional Procrastinator)
Filling in the countless forms for the kids school...ugh. (procrastinating)
Planting bulbs in September...OOPS...November...(procrastinator)
Company coming, known for a month, oh I'll wait till the evening before to grocery shop, laundry, clean, change bedding until the night before...(thanks but I was busy...procrastinating)

Don't get me wrong, things do get done...eventually.

Procrastinating is how I get stuff done.  Nice and last minute.  Just enough stress and adrenaline and fear of letting someone down, to get stuff done.

Here is something that I have come to realize about procrastination, sometimes it's just a fancy word for lazy.  And dude, sometimes a lot of the times I love to be lazy.  And guess what, I like it and it's okay.  Working full-time, with awesome, energetic, bundles of spirited 4-5 year olds is not lazy work, raising a family...not lazy work, being a good daughter, sister, friend and be fully engaged in a kick ass marriage...not lazy.  So I've decided, when I have a little free time, I'm giving myself permission to sometimes be lazy and celebrate in the awesomeness of that.

However, I am also, giving myself permission to let go of my label as a Procrastinator...starting tomorrow.

Love 
Marcia

Update from "Anniversary of Motherhood"

Update from my previous post: “Anniversary of Motherhood”

After I posted and put ‘it’ out there, I was feeling a little raw and exposed, but relief as well.  I was overwhelmed with the comments I received on Facebook, on the blog itself and many through private message.  It just solidified what I thought might be true…we are not alone, we are all in this together. I am happy to have started a little dialogue about some the struggles and the magnificent triumphs parenting our school age children have, this is something we can do with tact, honesty and integrity.  I just want to say a heart felt thank you to those that read my post and to the people that wrote me and exposed a little bit of themselves.  I feel blessed.

I had a long conversation with my son about my blog and the contents of my Anniversary of Motherhood post. He was so sweet and brave and said he thought it was cool.  He knows I like to help people and he felt good knowing he could help too.  I asked him repeatedly if he felt comfortable with me writing about him (and sometimes his challenges) and assured him if he ever didn’t I would take it down.  I also told him, I had received so many emails from people, some we don’t even know, thanking us for being so honest and that they feel the same or are going through something similar, he smiled and said “really, I did feel alone, that's awesome Mom.” 

I am so much more than a Great Mom (winkie face), and my blog will be a vehicle to my many clever&lovely interests, hobbies and loves.  As much as my kids would like my whole blog to be about them thats just not going to happen.  And, I made a promise to my kids that I would run by any post or picture that involves them to be personally hand stamped by them.  Such stellar kids.  

On a sidenote: The kids think I look old and mean and my neck looks creepy in my blog pic.  I told them I thought I looked artsy, brooding and thoughtful.  They stared at me and said, “uhhh No.” I guess that means I need a new head shot.

Love 
Marcia
XO

Anniversary of Motherhood

Yesterday I celebrated my eleven year Momiversary.  In more recent years I have thought why do the kids get all the celebration on the day of their birth, after all it is the same day a Woman is born into Motherhood.  And what a feat that is. The Queen of the family takes her throne and throughout her rein gets the heavy jewelled crown donkey kicked off her head many times.  Sometimes she is defeated, but always gets up, holds her head high and her family close. 

           

Mothering, for me, has a whole different meaning and perspective before having children and after having children. 

I worked as an Early Childhood Educator for about 11 years before I had children. I was given the beautiful, trusting privilege  to learn, inspire, help, facilitate learning, and play with so many 3-6 year olds, as well as support and advise parents on occasion, with parenting issues, children's behaviour issues, toilet learning, etc. And I gave it with confidence, I gave it freely, I felt great that in some small way I was helping families navigate through their journey.  After all I had studied it in school, attended yearly workshops, read every early years book I could get my hands on.  I was the perfect parent, before I had children, it was so easy to say what I would and wouldn't do when I had children of my own, or even better, what my children would and wouldn't be and behave like. Talk about a huge wake up call.  My goodness my socks could not have been knocked off farther.

The first time I realized this was shortly after my son was born.  We were in the second month of his life, he was a nursing machine, and I was in the throws of major exhaustion, yet completely overwhelmed with LOVE.  I remember a late night feeding, leaning back into the nursing chair, half asleep myself, and tears coming down my cheeks, and thinking who the heck did I think I was to even work as an ECE and claim all this expertise on Early Years and Parenting when clearly I know NOTHING….cry, cry, cry.  I remember silently apologizing to certain parents I may have judged (in my head), especially to one particular single mother, with 2 very spirited little boys, that I would wonder sometimes why she never could get her boys ears cleaned…years later realization…because she was TIRED, because she had to do EVERYTHING at her house, because some children are EARWAX MAKING MACHINES!  Actually all the single parents I worked with over those years popped into my head with more frequency when I was a 5-6 day a week single parent for the first 2 years of my daughters life and for my sons toddler/preschool years, my husband worked and lived out of town for those 2 years, I was alone.  I remember always having empathy, for those families and would never want that for myself, but, sometimes its just not a planned thing and everyone is doing the best they can with what they've got.  Even if you think they should do better or at least want to do better, know this, they are simply doing their best.  

“ One of the best thing for anyone to do for another parent is to feel empathy, send love and support, and wish them well.  A simple, effective, silent wish skyrocketed to the Universe.”

I felt like I was living part of my dream when the kids were babies, toddlers and even preschoolers years. I rocked the early years (for the most part) The baby years were my years, I loved labour and delivery, Loved nursing (once I got the hang of it), loved the slower pace of the day, loved the milestones, loved the cute cuddles and smelling the tops of there heads and kissing their chubby feet.  I was constantly amazed that I got to be a mom and these two are mine…just like that mine, I made them…I feed them from…my body….mind was blown daily because of these facts.

Once my children got older, things changed a little for me.  

For one thing I realized they are not mine, as in mine to own.  We are all our own person, free to be, free to think our thoughts.  These beautiful children that are brought into out lives are here for us to guide, support, love and learn from and visversa. We are each others soul keepers, life encouragers and lesson learners.  Not possessions. 

The affects of two years as a single parent (not saying this was the cause, more like it was the magnifying glass) wore thin, separation anxiety from their dad being away, reared its ugly head.  My sons, behaviours were getting harder to handle, and since he’s been 4ish…my parenting spirit has slowly broken down. 

Parenting for me teeters on pure enjoyment and wonderment and overwhelming love to utter devastation, feeling like a parenting failure and desire to live on a private island by myself with conjugal visits from my husband, oh, and a personal assistant to make me food, clean up after me and give me pedicures.

As a little guy some behaviours were in public, but most were in the privacy and safety of our home.  He has very high expectations, for events, for himself, for us, for friends, but generally doesn’t voice them until after a complete melt down. He is extremely sensitive to how other people are feeling, he can read a person or the people in a room, in a heartbeat…and his mood will reflect it.  At school he appears, calm, cool, collected, never showing how he is feeling, keeps it together the whole day…plays the role of a student, of a friend.  But one little thing someone said or did, or didn't do at school can easily snowball into an evening of hell for us, and him.

It has been a good six years (he’s now 11) of learning how to parent this sensitive, beautiful, funny, active, intuitive, moody, creative, smart child, and I suspect this learning will constantly evolve.  My son has recently been diagnosed as ADHD with Inattention, Learning Disability and Anxiety.  So yeah…this makes sense.  A big discovery for me…choke…is that I am very similar to my son, but I developed some coping strategies at a young age (because no one talked about it and/or recognized anything was wrong) and am still learning about myself, ALL. THE. TIME. I am tired.  I am excited.  I am happy.  I am truly blessed. I am thankful.  Thankful that my son has someone like me (and my husband) to accept and love him no matter what, learn with him and guide him, relish in his strengths and hold him up through his weaknesses.  Thankful he has my heart and I have his.

I know its getting more socially acceptable to talk about Mental Health but it is very hard to do.  There are so many initiatives out there to get rid of the stigma of mental health…yet,still very hard to write about, talk about when you are the one dealing with it so personally, its a window into your cracked life.  When you don’t want to single out your child who is learning to live and thrive with it. When it is yourself, some days, just barely squeaking by.  But it has to be talked about.  If you and your family are dealing with this in silence I want you to know you are not alone.  I slick on the lipstick, do my hair, dress for the day, look like I’m put together and most days this is the case but sometimes, I am undone, and completely broken on the inside and you would never know.  And that is how I deal.  

Parenting is not for the faint of heart and most likely nothing like how you expected it to be. It is so many things.  Some days are sooooo long, tedious, heartbreaking, exhausting, frustrating, boring, not boring enough…to absolute and utterly joyous, heart-warming, heart- melting, heart-stopping happiness and Love, those days go by too fast.  And for it not the two extremes (in my case) , a divine paradox to blatantly  appreciate every, darn thing.

So yes, on this Eleventh Momiversay of mine, I am going to celebrate with a Pint down at our local Pub, with my King and a couple of friends. Perch myself upon the throne (bar stool), affix my crooked, tarnished crown, and toast to my rein as completely flawed Mom to my kids.

Love
Marcia

Updated "Anniversary of Motherhood"

Basal Cell Carcinoma:

Me with My Short Grey/Pewter Hair
Stella&Dot Earings

Well I'm pretty sure this is not going to be a very fashionable or even comfortable post but I'm gonna write it anyway.  A few months ago I found out I have Basal Cell Carcinoma on my head and on my shoulder.  Worst thing I did was google images, barf.  Basal Cell is a slow growing skin cancer and from what I'm told if you're gonna get cancer this is the one you want.  Yikes, weird thing to say but..."Thank You".  Never the less I was still pretty freaked out by it.  The main reason, it was on my head and the Dr. said "Hopefully we have caught it in time and it hasn't fused to your skull because then the cancer could travel down your hair follicles and into your system." Well my goodness that scared the pants off of me and my family. Then I had to wait with that tidbit of news for three months till my Cancer Clinic Appointment....torture.  Once I had my appointment in March, there was some relief, the Dr.'s were confident it was found in time and it can be removed by surgery, a procedure if you will.  Awesome.  Here is some of what the Dr.s said to me, "You are really young to have this type of Cancer, it is usually bald old men, you don't appear to be a sun worshippers and you have really thick hair." Hmmmmm.  I guess you'll have to change your 'Usual Suspects' list. 

I looked for things I should be doing to protect myself until my surgery (August 22) and really came up empty handed.  There was no list of products or food to avoid.  No articles on how the area would feel after being biopsied.  I couldn't find anything on how I would feel generally, you know, state of mind.

So I took it upon myself to stop dying my hair, use natural hair care products,wear at hat and keep covered at the beach, eat well, think positively, keep company with good friends and family.  And Wait.

I'll back up a little and tell you how I found it.  I had a little growth growing on the top of my head.  I assumed it was a little mole (or wort) that I would get removed when I had time to make an appointment.  But over time, I would notice it feel a little scabby and a little piece would peel off, bleed (a pin drop of blood) a little then get a tiny bit bigger.  I could never see it therefore out of sight out of mind, and cancer still not on the radar, just a gross wort.  Until one day last November I thought "Wow, that wort on my head has gotten big, I should get that wort removed." My Dr. sent my to a Dermatologist were he informed me it was Basal Cell Carcinoma and he biopsied most of it then. 

When they biopsy it they use a little spoon like instrument with a knife edge.  They freeze the area.  But you can hear it.  I turned a paler shade of white.  It doesn't hurt it just feels awful.  You do not want to drive after so make sure you have a loved one with you to drive and give you sympathy. (Thank you Mama)  So after that I had a "divot" in my head and the area looked like a fried egg.  It was gross, I couldn't even put the cream on it myself because it made me feel like I wanted to vomit if I went near it.  I had a sweet former nurse friend who would apply it for me till I was comfortable to do it.  (Thank You Jen)

The area that was biopsied hurts or aches sometimes, kind of feels like if you were to scrape a comb over a fresh cut over and over again, then other times he feels like it has a pulse then other times he feels like a headache is resonating from it.  I just always know it is there. 

So once August 1st hit, I started thinking about the procedure more.  I'm feeling a little anxious about it, nervous, but thankful too that it is almost here and therefore almost over. 

A lot of people have or get Basal Cell Carcinoma I am most definitely not the first or the last.  Some I suppose think it is not a big deal and some (like me) who are freaked by it and need to talk about it to help deal with it.  A couple of famous Basel Cell celebrities Elizabeth Taylor and Ewan McGregor.


On the Grand Scale of Life I am so very lucky and healthy,happy and oh so thankful.  This past Spring I lost my Dear Auntie to Cancer, it was the worst kind of suffery I have ever witnessed and I am relieved she is no longer in such pain.  I think of her everyday and miss her.  I still expect to run into her. 

For the record:  Cancer Sucks.

All wishes of Light and Love are accepted here.

\Have a Wonderful Long Weekend and don't forget to cover-up!

Love
Marcia

p.s. It is a great idea to check your partners, kids all over, every month.  If you need an example on how to do this check the Discovery Channel under Gorillas.

Hello My Name is Marcia and...

...I am addicted to MLS and HOUZZ.  I cannot look away.  It is starting to feel really dirty with every click drawing me in more and more,  oh just one more image of kitchen tiles, click, click, that floor is stunning, click, click,click, I wonder if Dalton could make that, click, click...oh my word it's 2:00 a.m. 

marseeya's ideas

Houzz- Kitchen Remodels, Bathroom Remodels and More»

Browse Furniture on Houzz- For Example:

Rocking Chairs · Chairs · Sofas · Ottomans And Cubes · Side Tables And Accent Tables · Benches · Armchairs · Love Seats ·

Click on the tiny dots to see the kitchen porn I've bean jonesing after. 

Have a great day,
Love
Marcia

Happy New Year...First Day of The Rest of Your Life. Rejoice!

My first entry into the new year. Why the wait? Well the end of 2010 was a bit glum and I really wanted to start out this fresh new year on a bright, cheery and healthy note and while I feel like I am moving forward and on the mend, today seemed a good day to write...I'M Still Here! woopie! yahoo! Life is GOOD.

I will ever so quickly touch on the subject of the glum. I got really ill with menegitis and was hospitalized for a week before Christmas. A few of those days I was in hospital I thought they may have been my last on earth. (hence the glum part) But through the power of love, family, friends, prayers, meditations, nurses and Doctors. I have pulled through. And let me tell you this "Reset button" in my life has not been lost on me. I am grateful for the many 'gifts' I recieved through this time. So much love to the people around me.

I have had a lot of time to sit with my thoughts and my dreams these past few weeks and I have some fun plans for my blog and my life in the next few weeks so please check back at your leisure or even a little sooner than that. One thing that came up is my son has asked that I not share anymore stories to do with him, especially when they are about behaviour stuff. I must respect his wishes and have decided to switch up the content a little. Both of my kids are a bit older now and I do not want there privacy disturbed so if anything is posted about them I will ask there permission.

My true passion is anything to do with home design, home decorating, home staging, furniture, wallpaper, colours, repurposing. Walking through the doors of Homesense and likes of gives me such a sense of peace it can only be discribed as home to me. I can stay up until the wee hours going through my design magazines, tearing and making notes and drawing. I lay awake in bed coming up with house plans big and small...mostly small to medium homes. I drive by homes and think up curb appeal changes for the homes I drive by, I love going on mls.ca and dream about going into the homes for sale and staging and rephotographing them for the agents. (come on people take the knicknacks down off the shelves, and would it kill you to strip the 1980's boarders off your walls or have someone do it for you. Many buyers cannot see past the decor)

Don't worry i'll still be writing about a bunch of other stuff I love and purhaps you do too, like food, health, kids, family etc.

I'm just so happy my heart was ready to start writing again and my fingers were thrilled too.

See you soon,
Marcia
xoxoxo

Fresh

Wow, so October proved to be a bit of a dark month for me. I had found a new lump while doing a breast exam late September...had my Dr. appointment October 9th...Dr. said "This is a cause for concern, and I found 4 other lumps" and wanted to get me in for a Mamo and ultra sound as soon as possible, which ended up being November 8th. So as positive as I tried to be my thoughts often took me down a darker path and often thought of what every ones life would be like without me and I am overjoyed to report we don't have to find out for a really long time!!!! Seriously imagine a world without me...how dull. *wink* During my dark month I ate way to much Halloween Candy and started baking bread...my thoughts were "Well, I may as well plump myself up because who knows what the next few months will look like." Bad move. Now I have to detox...ugh. Back on track as the saying goes.

I have a few "Clever & Lovely" things I would like to report on. I purchased a King Sized Brunelli Duvet from 'Harbour Rose' downtown Kincardine and it is DIVINE. The weight of it is perfect, it has the little doohickies to tie into the duvet cover so it doesn't slide down. (major peeve of mine)I love the sound of it when I move around, it is so cozy I may have a nap under it today. You seriously need one for this winter, it's going to be a cold one, I can just feel it.

If you have not eaten at "The Bruce" in a while it is high time you rediscover this lakeview restaurant and please do yourself a favor and order The Bruce Burger (Jr.), it is so tasty and the homemade buns really adds to the yummyness. Another added bonus about "The Bruce" is they are serving Organic beef. I find their food actually tastes fresh and good in comparison to other roadhouse type restaurants. (Which by the way an employee at a highway restaurant told me all there food comes from a "box in the freezer".) Think 'local' not 'corporate' the next time you are picking a restaurant.

My new favorite place to hang out is "Bean's Bistro", another lovely lake view setting. This is the former "Books and Beans". It has undergone a makeover inside and out, and I believe new management, she is delightful and efficient and is most definitely a welcoming face. Nice moves on the new hires so far. Oh and for all you mommies and daddies out there....da da da da...they have a change table in the bathroom...how novel. And they are getting in high chairs. It is about time someone taps into "Work at Home parents" and "Moms on Mat leave" gang. We like coffee, we like getting out of the house, we like businesses to cater to us...cause guess what? We'll come back again and again and again. Oh another point to mention about "Beans Bistro", you will not find anyone, patrons or employees smoking out front or side. wooo hooo. That was always a little "off putting". And I betcha didn't know this, they serve hot breakfast, bacon, eggs, toast, fruit and potatoes and a cup of their great coffee for only $5.75.

Well great, now I'm hungry!


Peace, love and joy to you and yours
Marcia

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Lady Weekend

I have never been alone in my house for a whole weekend. No husband, no kids. For the first time in 7 years...7 years! I watched as Dalton and the Kids loaded up the Jeep and headed for London to spend time with Big Grandad and Auntie Anne.
Is it wrong I was a little giddy about it? Even if I was going to clean the house for a couple of hours. I got to clean it...and no one was there to drop a toy and leave it, mess up my newly mopped floors, dishevel their beds, leave Canadian Tire flyer's on my counter. It was glorious.
My dear friend Lisa arrived late Friday night, we drank wine, ate nibbles, and girl talked to late at night. Saturday we slept until 9 am, got the house ready for a wonderful workshop I hosted at the house. "Calm Mum", created and facilitated by Carol Peat and I implore you to check out her company Babies Naturally, yes even if your kids are 5 and 7. We can all use some guidance ie. "hand holding" and personal growth as parents education, and Carol is the person to do it, from preconception to teens. The workshop took place with 6 other women and I believe we all left better mothers (and daughters for that matter). In a perfect world Carol Peats workshop would be mandatory for all parents and grandparents, much like getting a drivers licence before you can drive. I feel refreshed as a Calm Mum, I'm going to trust my instincts and my children more, they know what they want and need and if we are patient, present and aware they let us know. I am going to try my best to not worry about what other people think of me and my parenting simply because "Their judgement/opinion of me and my parenting is none of my business." Don't you just love that? Lets write it again "Other peoples opinion of me is none of my business." Freeing...isn't it? and Breath.

So later that day Lisa and I took Trixie for a big walk at the lagoons, it was a lovely walk, crunching on leaves, sunshine and chatting. Oh and Trixie ate shit. How gross is that? I said "So that's what getting shit faced really is?" I can seriously crack myself up. I'm my own personal stand-up comedian.

Then...Lisa and I got gussied up and went out for a delightful dinner and wine at Tramontos then Guinness time at Hawg's Breath. Such fun with a dear friend.

On Sunday I slept till 11:00, hot damn that was nice. Then the kids and Dalton got back in the afternoon and I was soooooo happy to see them and smooch their spectacular little faces.

Have a lovely day,
Marcia
xoxox

Our new baby

Trixie Vans Spencer



Our family has been blessed with a new addition. Her name is Trixie. She is an American Bulldog. She is so lovely and has a great personality.
Sasha now has a kindred in the house.

Nighty night
Marcia

Answering The Call

I need to write this post as a "shout out" to a friend who "Answered The Call". This call happened to be "The Call of a Mom needing a time out from children". She was "picking up what I was laying down" on a facebook status this past week. And I just want to say how grateful I am for her. Rolie had a great day and I had some much needed quiet time with Sasha. So thank-you Ashley, your kindness was so appriciated.

Have a lovely Saturday evening,
Marcia
xoxoxoxo

Buisness up front...Party in the Back

This photo is the "Pre-Mullet" stage. I'll post the new do when he gets it.
My boy in jonesing for Mullet. Rolie has been watching RAD the movie and loves the guys hair. So Dalton told him he could get it...maybe even get a RAT TAIL!!!!! For the love of Justin Beiber someone throw me a life line. Apparently fauxhawks and brush cuts and even The Beibs hair just won't do. Rolie says "Mom, it's okay, I just want a mullet, and I want to bring back the '80's, old school style". So from this moment on Roland is officially no longer allowed to hang out with his Dad, ever again, no more long bike rides and all the chatting and reminiscing because it is affecting the way I want to style my son. (Of coarse I kid, he can totally hang out with his Dad & as if Rolie ever let me style him in the first place.) My main thing is for Dalton to not be the one to cut his hair, this is a job for a professional.

On another note: I got gussied-up this past week, on Wednesday in fact, to go out to dinner and see Sting at the JLC in London. I went with my lovely seestor Amy and Mom and Dad, the folks just celebrated their 42nd Wedding Anniversary so we did it up right, no hubbies and no kids! ha ha ha. Actually, the hubbies and kids would have LOVED the concert. It was a nice treat to hang out, just the 4 of us. Love them. So I love talking about food and our dinner was delightful, we ate at Waldo's On King I had ceasar salad, so fresh and crisp with a pancetta medallion and Parmesan round, steak and frites, green beans, 3 glasses of red wine, and homemade lemon sorbet and blueberry tea (Grand Marnier and Tea (My friend Kayli introduced me to that yummy goodness)
Can I just put it out there that Sting is Sexy. He is 58 years old and just has that certain something, he was even wearing kind of a ridiculous outfit though,really tight black skinny jeans and a white pirate blouse. Now if my hubby were to wear that out I'd be laughing at him all night, not with him...totally at him.
So anyway, Roland and Sass love it when I get dressed up. They walk around in my heals, smooth my freshly shaved legs, ask to have some lipstick on, wonder what I can fit in that little purse. Roland asked if he could take my picture. Of coarse I said "yes"...here it is....

ya sooooo, he's more of a handbag, shoes, legs kinda guy, jeesh, I thought I was worthy of a full body shot but apparently not.
Busy week ahead, summer is full, fun and got us on the run, with some lazy dayz of summer sprinkled in,
Love
Marcia

This is me Happy

Under a red Kitty Cat Umbrella ella ella hey hey!

I feel joyful and happy. Nothing in particular, no massive event, no gifts on my door step. Just a feeling of happiness. Plain and simple...joy. Every now and then I like to "take stock" of what is going on in my life and really feel thankful for it. Yes, I still have a few things that stress me out but all and all a wonderful, fulfilling life.
Things I am thankful for in this moment:
a)A husband to love and loves me right back, something fierce comes over me when he walks in the house.
b)Two beautiful, healthy, energetic children so bursting with smarts, creativity and wildly funny personalities.
c)Getting to be with my children for the summer, beaching it,pipebanding, exploring and daytripping our way through the warm weather.
d)A roof over our heads, food in our bellies, a car to take us from A to B in AC.
e)A sister like no other, to share our hopes, dreams, laughs, triumphs and tribulations with.
f)My parents who live on the same street as me. Getting to "pop in" for a nice hot "cuppa" and a chat.
g)My girlish figure, witty personality and devilish thoughts.

There is a smile on my face and warm thoughts in my heart for you on this summer evening,
smmmmmmmoooooch,
Marcia

Holding Hands - Heartwarming

Happy Friday!! This moment - A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Have a lovely weekend,
Marcia

Summer Lovin'

SASHA & ROLAND my little Summer Lovers.

This is why we live here in the blistering 8 months worth of Winter/cold/wind/snow/rain. For this. We take what we get, 4 months worth of pure bliss.

Love
Marcia

SLOW Summer

With the last days of school nearly behind us I am excited to have my little chickens home with me for the summer. I have declared this our good old fashioned slow summer. A summer with no major agendas, no major organized sports. The plan is to enjoy the summer and enjoy each other, literally take time to smell the roses.
Now with saying that there is no agenda does not mean we have no plans, on the contrary, we have assembled a list of activities we would like to do this summer and we have a few activities that we have booked but in general it's pretty loose.

* Explore the Bruce We are going to Explore our community and surrounding area maybe once a week or every two. Fun.
* BEACH BUMS We are sooooo fortunate to live so close to beautiful beaches, a 10 minute walk from our house. (half an hour with kids in tow) The sunsets are breath taking. The water is warm and clear, the beaches are sandy. This will be our main playground for the summer. And with not having evening planned up we can stay as long as we want. woo hoo.
* WaterPark in Goderich for a change of scenery.
* Parks and Pic-Nics in Kincardine. We have has lovely spots for pic-nics and play time, Tiny Tot park, right by the lake, Lions Park @ Davidson Centre (this one is a favorite, lots of shade, pic-nic tables and of course the coveted Skate/Bike Park. Geddes Park is another lovely spot along the river.
* Library time, I have a feeling we may need some quiet afternoons or rainy days. We love going to the libary (and as always *FREE*)
* Port Elgin Skate Park. Our second home. Again *FREE* Pack some food, plenty of water, and bikes and skateboards. FUN. (Lawn chair for yourself)
* We are setting up an art studio at home, we have all the supplies bought and ready to go for some exciting creations.

Remember me?....

Ya, I'm the dining room set Marcia was going to refinish because she LOVED me so much. Well, apparently not enough cause...
Voila, I've been replaced by this curvy number. She liked the curvy legs and the sturdy comfy seats. Nice. She even got me all taken apart, sanded and repaired (by Rick) She is so flighty.

It's true. I was in the middle of redoing the dining room set when Dalton and I walked into a furniture store going out of business and we saw this set for 50% off and absolutely love it. It is the first dining set we have bought...ever...we are officially grown ups buying dining room sets. What next...driving a mini van. (not that there's anything wrong with that)


This lovely bouquet of Peonies in celebration of mine and Daltons 8th Anniversary. Merci Mama et Papa. They are gorgeous, and always remind me of my wedding day.


New project, I bought this solid wood, Canadian made (in Quebec) dresser and Mirror off of Kijiji. I love it. As soon as I saw it I knew it would be the perfect first piece to redo. I have been officially inspired up one side and down the other by this lovely lady Holly from White Berry out in Western Canada. I was never into Shabby Chic but I have been bitten by this bug and I love her take on it, and I think I can incorporate it with my contemporary/Glam/minimalist style. So that would read "Shabby Glam Contemporary Mini". I like it. That's my style fo'shizzle.

Sanded, cleaned, now primed. I bought lovely new pewter drawer pulls. And I will be painting a very light grey/white.

finished project to follow shortly.
Family picture wall. It only took 3 years of wanting to get organized and up on the wall.

I really like the way it turned out.

What are you working on these days?

Have a lovely day
Marcia

Rainy Wednesday

Sass with her lined up racing hotwheels.

No car today. Dalton had to use it for work today. I don't mind though, it gives me a chance to slow down and just "be" at home with Sasha. (Don't get me wrong I love going to Wednesday morning playgroup aka coffee talk with friends, while our kids play)
We are still in our jammies, well, I am, the more responsible of the two of use got dressed. Sasha and I had a lovely breakfast, then I put the kettle on for tea and biscuits while we read books. Sass did some drawings. One of me and her, she is walking a dog, and her and I are holding hands, I have a circle around one eye. I said to Sasha "oops you forgot the other half to mommy's glasses." She said "you're not wearing your glasses, its a black eye, you walked into the corner of a wall because you were not watching where you were going." Me "I should have had my glasses on."
I think while I am secluded to our house I will actually make all the beds, actually empty the 3 baskets of folded laundry and actually play on the floor with Sasha.
We aren't totally trapped though. I am going treasure hunting at the Dumps Re-Use it section with a friend today. I am after really large gaudy frames and what ever else catches my eye.
Enjoy your rainy day too
Marcia

Me and My Beau

Big "D" and Me.

This is us all ready to go out for dinner with my parents, Auntie Judy and Uncle Bob, and another lovely couple (not sure if they would like there names on here). In honor of Mama's B-day. Happy Birthday Lanny!

I love going out with Dalton on my arm. He is a lovely husband, best friend, wonderful provider and support, oh ya and a great dad. Plus he's not to bad to look at.

Here's to date nights with your beau!

Love
Marcia
xoxoxoxo