My Boy

My boy Roland. He wakes me with a kiss and a request to put the "cream coloured arms of the Indian Jones lego guy onto the lego guy wearing the black suit because I want it to look like they are wearing vests". One thing is for sure my Rolie knows what he likes and what he wants, especially when it comes to his clothes. I am learning to go with the flow of his many wardrobe changes in a day, because his choice goes with the particular imaginary game he is in or the sport he is doing or an event that is taking place. Each piece of clothing is chosen with a great deal of thought and care (even though it may not always look that way(....breath...and letting go.) I do LOVE his amazing imagination. He talks from sun up to sun down, whether anyone is there or not. If he is in the backyard playing I will sometimes hide out in his room with the window open and just listen to the wonderful adventure he is on. He still plays with his 3 imaginary friends he has had since he was 2, "Gader". "Cookie Eyes" and "Phil". I do write down some of his story ideas and they are most interesting and usually very funny. Perhaps I have a budding author on my hands, or perhaps a stage actor or it is more likely "The World Famous BMX Trick Bike racer" he prefers to be called. But my most favorite thing to call him is MY SON.

Lovely Little Hands

Lovely Little Girl

I woke up today in one of my most favorite ways. 
As I lay on my side in full dreamland mode,
 I felt a smoothness tickle my forehead,
 then smoothed all the way around my face. 
I remember thinking "Am I dreaming",
 then I felt my eyelashes being smoothed 
then a soft warm little hand rested on my cheek.
 I'm not sure how long it was there for,
 but when I opened my eyes the most beautiful smiling little face
 was staring at me about 2 inches from my face. 
I actually felt my heart 'heat up' just as it did the first time I ever saw her. 
We stared and smiled at each other for a few seconds,
 until I scooped her up and we spooned until we absolutely had to get out of bed. 
I am so thankful for this lovely little creature, 
she is a true little kindred I will cherish forever. 
Sasha Yvonne you are one lovely little girl.

Love

Marcia

Sadness

On Friday morning I logged into my facebook account. As I was reading my "news feed" I noticed an old classmate/friends (from Ottawa) status he had posted about 10 minutes earlier. It appeared to be a suicide note. I quickly sent him an email. I was hopeful. I kept checking his page...his friends and family were pleading for him to call them, words of love and friendship, the feelings were intense, but panic was in there words. Those that lived close would have been searching for him, so afraid of what they may find...I got word the next morning...they found him. Dead. He has 3 little kids, he posted "Butterfly Kisses" for his daughter and "Father and Son" (Cat Stevens) for his 2 sons, and "Tears in Heaven" as well. I have been over come with sadness for him, his children, his wife and his family and close friends. I have had a lump in my throat all weekend and have shed many tears. I have not seen him since college age, but it still feels a little raw. Being an adult is tougher than we think it is going to be as teenagers. We were all in such a hurry to be adults. The pressure and responsibilities can be a little overwhelming at times. Challenges that come up during a marriage really test the ol' wedding vows. Some make it and some don't but we can all learn from absolutely every event that happens to us. And we can all learn from other peoples lessons too. I wish he would have paused at his computer for a few more minutes, and he would have seen he is not alone. His friends and family were there to prop him up and give him the support and love he needed during his darkest times. This man seamed to have it all, smart, beautiful children, family and friends galore, just days before he even posted pictures of all his family at the cottage. I believe he and his wife were separating at this time. Here is the life lesson for us all...we are all fragile at times, when a friend or family member is going through major life changing events, such as divorce, death of a child, spouse, friend, family, illness, be extra aware of comments, body language, odd behaviour. Love them, talk to them, check in with them. Get them help if needed. The dark hole of depression is deep, you may have to reach. But, it may be the "First day of the rest of their life".

Signing off with a heavy heart tonight,
Marcia